Thursday, January 12, 2012

So this happened to me a few days ago and I thought, "I should blog about that." But then I was busy, but I keep thinking about it at weird times, like in the shower this morning and it was making me mad just thinking about it so I will write to get it out of my system.

So I'm at the gym, minding my business, like I do. I happend to be finishing up a 4th set of 25 push-ups on the half-balance ball thing with the flat bottom (you know what I mean). And no, I can't do 100 real push-ups, I do them on my knees.

Backstory on this gym thing: I go pretty regularly (although you might not know to look at me). I'm there 3-4 times a week pretty much the same time. Me and the guy that works the front at that time (I think he lives there) and a few of the trainers are on a first-name basis.

Anywho, this trainer who I've never seen at this gym before comes up to me to try to drum up a little business. And I find this to be annoying, but I understand - we all gotta pay our bills. But after this one, I want to be put on the "do not bug me" list. Officially. Maybe I'll ask one of the cool trainers to spread the word. I mean, I didn't just join the gym yesterday. I've had a trainer before and when I want some more sessions, I'll let you know. In other words - don't call me, we'll call you.

So the trainer's pick-up line is "Hi, I noticed you're breaking your form there." Me: "Oh?" "Yeah, you're head's out of alignment and I'd hate to see you hurt your neck." Me again: "Umhumm." But what I'm thinking is "Duh, I'm just finishing my 100th, which is a miracle really, of course my head's out of alignment." Really, you're picking on that? It's not like I'm doing a ridiculous belly-up or misusing a machine or slamming the weights down. I'm no gym rat, but I do know my way around. Maybe I was just more annoyed she didn't just come right out and say, "Hey, I need to train some people, can I train you?"

But anyway back to the conversation. Me: "Umhumm." Her: "Yeah, you wanna give me ten more then?" Me: Uh, ok [thinking: No! I don't want to give you ten more because I just did 100 and I'm tired and I only told myself I had to do 100, not 110, but thanks." But of course I don't say that because I don't like confrontation.

So after I "give her 10 more," she says, "SO what are you trying to accomplish by doing those push-ups?" Seriously? Why do you do push-ups? We have a couple more seconds of ridiculous gym small talk which I know is all building up to her pitch and I don't want her to get to the "so could I show you a couple more things?" So I just say, "Look I've had a personal trainer before and it's great, but it's just not realistic for me to have a trainer right now."

And she says...wait for it..."Yeah, it's not realistic for most people...ESPECIALLY IF IT'S NOT A PRIORITY FOR YOU."

I wanted to punch her. First of all, "saying it's not a priority" is just a fallacy.  Everything's a priority (if it's on your radar at least - I mean I'm at the gym and I've had a trainer before, so you know it's on the list there somewhere). I think what she meant to say is "...if it's not high on your list of priorities." Anyway, these mechanical problems aside, I wanted to say something like this. You're right lady, clearly since I'm here, fitness is not a priority and having a trainer is just something I've decided not to do because I'm lazy. But here's the real thing: I can't afford to pay someone a dollar a minute to help me during my workouts. I'd actually love to, but college was also a priority and now I'm paying for that. But I'm here. Right after work, at 7:00 pm, straight from work, when you could also make the argument that maybe my priority should be at home getting dinner ready and feeding my cats and tidying up so that when my husband gets home from a long day at work, his wife is home and calm in a nice clean house with dinner ready instead of me running in like a sweaty mess right when he gets home and trying to throw dinner together and hop in the shower and put all my crap away and still have eaten dinner by 9. (Wow, that was a really long run on sentence, but I'm not in the mood to edit). But you're right lady (her name's Laura btw), not a priority. Not at all. And thanks for trying to guilt me into having you as my trainer.

I just feel like, I pay money to be here. Please leave me alone unless I ask, OR unless you know me and it really is friendly advice and not a sales pitch.

When she said "Especially if it's not a priority for you." I just said, "Yep," and stared at her. Then she tried to make some more friendly parting small talk and started to walk away. And then as she walked away, she turned and said, "And no more cheating...I caught ya before." Yes. Yes you did. And guess what else? Having a trainer is on my priority list. And someday it's going to be closer to the top. And do you know what you've just ensured? I won't be asking YOU to be my trainer. Good work here.